Can a Relationship Survive When One Partner Isn’t Spiritual?
You meditate, practice mindfulness, do inner child work, shadow work, burn incense, communicate with your spirit guides and are passionate about the spiritual path …
but the only problem is that your partner isn’t.
In fact, not only are they not interested in the spiritual path but they also have a hard time understanding why you engage in various spiritual practices in the first place.
A thought may have gone through your mind, “can this relationship survive?”
This is a troubling thought and may be accompanied by feelings of anxiety, emotional discomfort or even a sensation of looming endangerment. I want to help you reach some semblance of peace and clarity by the end of this article.
Is Your Relationship Doomed?
First off, this is a pretty loaded question.
The only way to determine whether your relationship is doomed to fail or not is to pay attention to the context of what is happening within it and your dynamic together as a couple.
Here are some red flags you should look out for:
If you can say “yes” to more than one of these negative red flags, you should be concerned. Your relationship is oppressive and doesn’t allow you to grow as a person which means that there is likely an unhealthy dynamic going on. I would advise you to spend some quiet time across the next few weeks reconsidering your relationship. Why? Because you have a right to practice whatever form of spirituality speaks to your soul. You have a right to flourish as a spiritual being and be loved and supported – not rejected or judged negatively.
If, however, you can’t quite relate to the above red flags but your partner isn’t spiritual and you are, this is a positive sign (but also more complex).
I’ll explain why below.
What to Do When Your Partner Isn’t on the Spiritual PathUnderstandably it can be frustrating and disheartening to live with (or spend a lot of time with) a person who doesn’t share the same aspirations, outlooks, or spiritual beliefs as you.
But I want to mention something very important here: beware of the ideals you create.
Concepts such as twin flames and soul mates can be useful in defining and understanding relationships, but they are ultimately limiting and constrictive when framed in the purely spiritual context. (Anyway, you can still have a “non-spiritual” soulmate or twin flame – if you like using those labels.) So if you are looking jealously at other couples who seem to “have it all” spiritually speaking, drop those rose-tinted glasses immediately.
“Spiritual” relationships are not the be all and end all. In other words, NO you don’t have to be in a spiritual relationship to be happy. No, you don’t need to share the same metaphysical beliefs or outlooks.
Because the most “spiritual” thing is ultimately love.
If we are talking about real spirituality here (not just the various methods, paths or mental beliefs), what ultimately matters is how much you love and accept each other, regardless of your differences.
Beware of the toxic comparison that makes you feel like you should both be on the same page about everything, like “other people.” Beware of the toxic comparison that makes you feel like you should be posting pictures of yourself and your partner on Instagram doing something “spiritual” like yoga – or go on week-long meditation retreats together – like “other people.”
As a person who has written a lot on spiritual relationships I can tell you this:
If your partner has the ability to love, they are innately spiritual. It doesn’t matter what they believe (or don’t believe) so long as they are able to open their heart to you.
So put your foot down and refuse to be pressured into believing that your relationship has to look or feel a certain way. Your relationship is unique, and so long as it is based on mutual love and respect, it is healthy and can survive.
A Little Side Note on Core Needs As a slight diversion, I want to say that it is possible that you may have a healthy and loving relationship but the connection still isn’t right for you.
Why may this be the case?
The answer is that one of your core needs isn’t being met. If you absolutely feel in your heart of hearts that you need a partner who is on the same page as you spiritually, that is one of your core needs. And you need to pay attention to it.
There are no easy answers here, and all I can say is that if you are unhappy in your relationship despite the fact that it is loving and respectful, it may not be the right relationship for you.
Not everyone needs to be in a relationship with a spiritual person, but if you feel the deep core need to be, then you need to do some soul searching. Reflect on yourself and your relationship in five years time: does the thought make you happy or restless/depressed? If you answered the latter then it is unlikely your relationship will be able to survive simply due to the fact that one of your core needs is to have a spiritual romantic companion. And that’s perfectly okay. You will need to sort out your feelings and plan for the best path of action.
Here Are Some Essential Do’s and Don’ts
So now that we’ve cleared up whether a relationship can survive or not when one partner isn’t spiritual, here are some ways to ensure that your relationship continues to flourish:
To summarize: pay attention to the context and dynamic of your relationship. If your connection is based on mutual love and respect then YES, it is possible to thrive and survive together. If you have a core need to connect with a spiritual partner, then NO, living with an “unspiritual” partner is unlikely to fulfill you. Although, before you jump to this conclusion, I ask you to consider what “spiritual” actually means to you – does it mean spiritual according to your path and beliefs, or something else? Also ask yourself, “Am I happy to do my thing and allow my partner to do theirs?” or do you both absolutely need to be on the same page?
Hopefully, you have a bit more clarity now as I know how complex and emotionally-charged this topic can be.
Do let me know if I’ve missed anything or if you have any advice of your own. I’d love to read your insights!
By Mateo Sol
Mateo Sol is a prominent psychospiritual counselor and mentor whose work has influenced the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Born into a family with a history of drug addiction, schizophrenia, and mental illness, Mateo Sol was taught about the plight of the human condition from a young age. As a spiritual counselor and mentor, Sol’s mission is to help others experience freedom, wholeness, and peace in any stage of life. See more of his work at lonerwolf.com.
Virgos Most Difficult Zodiac SignTo Love
Virgos are arguably the most self-sufficient of the zodiac signs. They also approach most relationships from a very analytical and almost managerial position. Even if it’s not intentional, Virgos automatically keep most people at arm’s length until they’re sure they can trust them. Thus, they’re not the easiest people to love. In order for a Virgo to love someone, they have to let their walls down and open up, which isn’t in their nature. Once they do they’re amazing partners, but it can definitely take some time for them to get there.
Scorpios are the queens/kings of not knowing what they want. They fluctuate between hot and cold like crazy and it makes them really difficult to read and subsequently, be with emotionally. A Scorpio can be an incredibly draining partner to be with which is why they often find themselves in and out of relationships. Frankly, until a Scorpio matures emotionally, they’re simply not ready for a real relationship.
There are no sign more flighty, impulsive, and all over the place than a Sagittarius. In some ways, this makes them very exciting partners and whoever they’re with will never be bored. But on the flip side, it makes them nearly impossible to get to settle down. They’re constantly chasing the next thing, the next adventure, the next adrenaline rush. They are terrible at being still, at just existing. And that’s not very conducive to relationships. A Sagittarius will only feel content when they find someone who doesn’t just chase them, but runs right alongside them.
Aquarians are naturally reserved, private people. They aren’t inclined to open up and letting people in is absolutely not in their nature. It can be really difficult to read an Aquarius which keeps a distance between them and most people. An Aquarius needs someone who they can really trust and feel comfortable being vulnerable around in order to go all in and fall in love.
Capricorns are the picture of practicality, efficiency, and hard work. While this makes them incredibly reliable and a star employee or co-worker, it can also mean that they approach each and every relationship like a business transaction. No partner wants to feel like they’re being looked at and being weighed on a pros and cons list. A Capricorn needs to learn to trust their heart as much as their head in order to find real, lasting love.
Geminis have a reputation for being indecisive and overly emotional. While to a certain extent this is true and can make communicating with them tiring, it also means that they love with all of their hearts and put all of their faith in what they feel. When a Gemini loves, they go all in. They hold absolutely nothing back and give all of themselves to their partner. It can be intimidating, being loved that much. But that level of vulnerability is something to commend someone, like a Gemini, for being able to do.
There’s no sign quite as dynamic and captivating as a Leo. Leos are incredibly independent, confident, and sure of themselves. So it’s important for anyone who is with a Leo to recognize that they’re never going to need you. But they are such a magical sign, it’s impossible to not be drawn to them. Leos make everything more exciting and engaging, so it’s no surprise that everyone loves them.
Active, exciting, and a beacon of passion, an Aries makes their partner the center of their world. They prioritize their partners and do their best to be their everything. Their cheerleader, their partner in crime, their shoulder to lean on. An Aries strives to be the go-to for whatever the person they’re with might need. Who could say no to loving someone like that?
There is simply no sign more loyal and steadfast than a Taurus. When a Taurus loves someone, they’re in it for the long haul. They’re completely devoted and committed to the person who they love. A Taurus leaves nothing up to the imagination, nothing lingering in any sort of grey area. Everything is out on the table and you always have a clear cut idea of where they stand. That sort of devotion and loyalty is rare and hard to find, so when you do it’s not something you’re inclined to let go.
All a Libra wants is for everyone to be content and happy. This goes for pretty much everyone on Earth, but especially for people who they’re in love with. A Libra would bend over backwards to make sure their partner is in a good place. They’ll do anything to make their person happy. They’re so easy to love because they show you the kind of love that’s possible to get from another person, and that’s something to strive to emulate.
A Pisces arguably has the biggest loving, bleeding heart of the zodiac. They feel deeply, they’re all emotion, and they have no trouble expressing what they want and need from the people who they love. A Pisces puts everything onto the table. They leave nothing left unsaid. They’d walk through fire and back for the person who they love, and that sort of love is something you’ll only experience once in a lifetime.
Cancers are the biggest nurturers, the biggest caretakers, the most likely to love unconditionally of the zodiac. They’re so forgiving, so patient. They’re a sign you can always count on to be there for you, day or night, no matter what. A Cancer perfectly exemplifies what love is supposed to look like. And in turn, how we should all love each other.